


Used and Forgotten

by Emby



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Dark Keith (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 19:56:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17168372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emby/pseuds/Emby
Summary: Keith only knew how to take and it didn't matter that Lance only had so much to give.





	Used and Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this isn’t a happy story it gets better but still. Be forewarned that there are themes of abuse, verbal, and emotional manipulation. Have care when you read this. If these themes are something you can find to be triggering heed this warning please~

The breath is punched from his chest with each thrust but he takes it, he always does. He winces as Keith’s hand that’s gripping his hair grows near painful. Keith only takes from him but that's how their relationship works. Keith didn't get much love growing up like Lance did it's only fair as Keith says. as hes getting fucked and with an animalistic groan Keith cums and Lance... doesn't. That's fine he tells himself. Hell just finish up in the bathroom. Chest heaving he rolls to his side facing away after Keith slides out of him. He clenches his eyes shut hoping that this time maybe? “Can you stay Keith?” There’s no answer and Keith’s weight lifts from the bed . Lance calls himself stupid for even hoping.

He remembers how it all began. A clash of teeth, the heat of anger. And somehow they were in his room flesh sliding on flesh, much too tight grips. Muted gasps and moans, a fierce climax that one of them will cherish, then nothing but the harsh pants of a fleeting moment. 

There's a weighty silence. “That never should have fucking happened.” A cold weight settled in Lance’s stomach at the words.Then Keith left after hastily shoving on his clothes and a sharp glare aimed at Lance. That wasn’t the last time it happened. It isn't the last time it happens. Its when Keith gets restless,and his technique becomes sloppy during training. Its Lance who hurts the most. The fragments of burning passion only to be doused by Keith’s cold detachment. He should have put a stop to their trysts months ago but Keith makes him feel something in the emptiness of space. This was the least he could do to make Keith feel better.

It is weighing on him though. He wakes up one morning sad and sore not wanting to get out of bed. Hunk is usually his number one go to when life has been beating him down. He always knows what to say.

He finds him in the workshop “Hunk do you think I’m unloveable?” Hunk looks up sharply from the machine he’s disassembling worry clear on his expressive face. 

“What no! Why would you think that?” Lance shrugs thinking about all the time Keith leaves his room muttering about mistakes. “Is this about you and Keith? Did he say something to you?” 

“No, we’re fine, I just thought we would be more at this point. You know?” 

Hunk sets down his tools to fully face Lance. “Just talk to him, ask him what you guys are. Relationships without communication don’t work.” He puts down his tools and stands. “Come on, lets go turn that frown upside down.”

When he goes to look for Keith, he’s in the training room as always. Lance takes a moment to just watch him. Keith is fucking fit alright, and his work ethic is incredibly sexy. Keith glances his way and Lance waves at him. With a show of annoyance Keith ends the simulation. “What?” 

Lance’s question dies in his throat he wasn’t expecting the animosity. “I just wanted to talk.” “I’m busy Lance, unlike you.” “Oh sorry. Um I’ll come back later.” he flees the room embarrassed maybe he is lazy, there are things to be done that he could be helping with right? 

He runs into Pidge on the way to the bridge. “Hey! Lance I wanted to talk to you.” What’s up?” I was worried about the mission what if I’m not fast enough, what if we get caught?” “Pidge, you are more than capable of pulling this off.” he can’t tell if his words have had any affect on her mood but she hugs him. “Thanks Lance, oh hey c’mere.” She leads him back down to her area of the workshop she and Hunk share. It's always awe inspiring to see the things she comes up with and he’s not disappointed. 

“Here,” she hands him two devices, one that looks kind of like a headphone jack but sharper, and a usb. “I’ve been working on this if you can get to a computer or something when we go in, just jam this into it ok?” “What does it do.” “in theory it would siphon their data onto that handy dandy usb. If not, it’ll corrupt every file they have.”  
He scruffs her head “Pidge you little genius!” she laughs and the tight grip wrapped around his chest loosens. 

As the days go by the mission gets closer and closer. Lance never does get to talk to Keith. Even with his nightly visits. He tries, he really does but Keith brushes off his every attempt. It’s draining him their nightly trysts do nothing for his sleep schedule he’s exhausted and it shows during training and even meetings in general. “Lance! Wake up, what did I just say.” Allura’s voice is exasperated as he jolts awake. “I’m sorry, I haven't been sleeping well.” Her face softens assuming “If you’re worried about the mission, maybe Keith should go?” “No! I can do it.” it's because of the recon mission. 

D-Day arrives and it’s already a bad day.  
The briefing goes like this Allura: “Both of you need to be careful. Now you’ll both be heading in through the same vents but at this intersection Lance you go right and Pidge you go left. Lance has the bugs you need to place them in the General’s quarters.” She points to the location on the blueprint. “Pidge, you need to get to the storage bay we need to know what cargo they’re carrying.

He listens diligently, they’d been anticipating this mission for months. Storming bases until they’d gathered enough intel to pull this off. It was an intelligence extraction. The ship they’d been tailing was one of a high ranking general someone close to Emperor Zarkon. For as long as they’ve been fighting, they never had record of their supply lines, or where they built their ships, If everything went right, they would. A lot was riding on this.

Both don masks to conceal their identities before embarking. On board they sneak through the vents each going their own way with a whispered good luck. When he reaches his destination he peers in. “Bingo.” The layout is exactly as they assumed it would The Galra are a diverse bunch but when it comes to interior design everything is copy paste.  
He rappels into each room adrenaline coursing through his veins. The first bug was placed under a desk. The second in a breakroom. The third and final one was the trickiest and required Pidge’s distraction. He waited counting his breaths but nothing changes the bridge was bustling with engineers and the goddamn general was picking his teeth in his chair. “Pidge where are you?” His vent is near the floor maybe he can sneak into they’ve only got one chance at this he has to do it. 

He removes the vent and crawls out staying low. In a way it remind him of home when he needed to sneak past his mother. But at home he wasn’t afraid that a misstep could get him killed. The purple lighting of the room does help him though as he slinks through the shadows.

There's a shout and his body locks in fear. “We've got hostile stow-aways, they're on the ship.” This wasn't part of the plan. He ducks under a control panel. There's a moment that soldiers run from the bridge then silence. He can’t wait for Pidge’s distraction its now or never. Still staying low he plants the bug. He's nearly out again when a metal barrel presses against the back of his head. 

“Get up.” and he does. “Turn around slowly no funny business.” His mask is ripped off and the General’s face doesn't change in recognition. 

“How did you get on the ship, who sent you?” He elects not to speak and the gun smashes across his face for his defiance. There's a blinding pain and he spits blood. A boot in his side rolls him over and the general squats down to his level. “I’ll ask again, who sent you?” He just smiles and quick as a whip he swipes the general’s legs from under him and and quick punch in the jaw knocks him out.

Breathing hard he presses his communicator, “The misson’s been compromised we need extraction.” he pulls out Pidge’s device and stabs it into the side of the main console and leaves again through the vents. 

He sprints down corridor after corridor to where he knows Pidge should have been. He sees her lying atop crates and curses. He doesn’t have much cover and if he starts shooting they’ll know. But he can’t just sit and do nothing. 

The first shot towards them sends them scattering. One of their own dead out of nowhere. The second kills two. The rest flee not wanting to fight an enemy they cant see.  
Lance and Pidge take this chance flee down the corridor the soldier’s shouts in the background. “Guys! You need to pick us up we can’t make it to the hangers” 

“What the fuck happened, Lance!” He grits his teeth at that, like it was his fault that everything went to shit.

“Just be ready!”

They’re ejected out into open space, no ships on their tail yet but it wouldn’t stay that way for long. But a red lion quicky scoops them up carting them to safety. 

When they get back to the castle, everyone is stony faced refusing to even look at Lance. Pidge sniffles as she cradles her bleeding arm. Coran and Allura hurrying her to the Med Bay. Hunk is still in the Kitchen stress baking. That leaves Shiro and Keith to probably ream him for what he did wrong. He wishes they could hold off, he's pretty sure he's concussed.

“It was so fucking simple a child could have done it Lance. Jesus Christ can you do one thing right?” Keith stands with his arms crossed his glare heated. 

“I did everything I was supposed to, I mean yes there were some hiccups but we completed the mission.” Lance bites back. 

Shiro holds Keith back “It won’t do any good to blame anyone for what happened. What matters is that they made it out alive.”

“You were supposed to create the distraction Lance, Pidge is smaller than you and much less likely to be seen. Were you even listening to Allura when she told you?” 

His heart beats faster limbs feeling heavy with dread. “No, I was supposed to plant the bugs I distinctly remember being handed the bugs and told to take the left when we reached the intersection in the vents.” he’s gotten things wrong in the past but not to this extent.

Keith in all his rage grabs Lance by the collar. “It’s like talking to a fucking toddler. You were supposed to go right. You messed up Lance get that through your thick skull.” But he had the bugs to place. Lance doesn’t say anything. “Keith, that’s enough. Lance go wash up we’ll talk later.”

Lance heads for the showers going through everything in his mind. He wouldn’t have had the bugs if he wasn’t supposed to plant them. That was his job this mission right? Shiro didn't defend him so maybe he was wrong he hadn’t got enough sleep maybe that played a part? He stands in the shower lost in thought until hands wrap around him. 

He jumps heart hammering in his chest. It's too soon for what Keith wants and after this mission he’s just not in the mood. It sucks that now is when he can finally talk to him and now he has to tell him. 

In between his hard kisses and frantic hands. “Keith no. I can’t-” Keith stops abruptly “Is this about me yelling at you cause I’m sorry you know I lose my temper.” 

“No it's not that I just can't do this anymore, you don’t talk to me Keith and if you do it's only to yell at me. I don’t like that.” The words rush out after being trapped for weeks. 

“What do you mean you can’t-” there's a hard look in Keith’s eye as he takes a step back. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Silence, a clenched jaw. “Fine.” 

Lance pretends that its just water cascading down his face while he showers. 

~  
The days after the mission are hard. Allura finds Lance and she thanks him for a job well done while Shiro reprimands him for not following directions. He doesn’t even know what to believe. Pidge hasn’t spoke to him since they got back and he wonders what he did to lose her companionship.

He sleeps longer than he should, deciding that the longer he stays in bed the less likely he is to make mistakes. 

Everything returns to some semblance of normal or as normal as it could be between the two of them. Pidge heals and as always life goes on.  
But now Keith would glare only to look away when Lance caught him. As much as Lance wants to tell him we can pick up where we left off but let's do it properly this time, he can't until Keith owns up to his mistakes in the relationship. So the ice grows thicker.

 

Despite the rocky success of the mission, Lance can’t help but to muddle on it. Everything that went wrong felt like it was his fault. Directions had never been his strong suit mixing up his rights and lefts but always going the correct way. Maybe he should have asked Pidge for confirmation? Or maybe if Pidge had planted the bugs and He create the distraction she wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Either way the mission was complete there was nothing else they could do now. 

New problems arise however. 

Keith doesn’t talk to him. Their teamwork falters and guess who they blame. “Lance you need to patch things up with Keith. This rivalry thing has gone on long enough.” or “Lance he really liked you I can’t believe you would just dump him” That one surprises him because first of all he didn’t know anyone else but Hunk knew. And second, he didn’t even think Keith and he were dating. 

After a lengthy talk from Shiro he finds Keith. So he approaches him wary. “Keith, we need to talk.” As always, he’s standoffish “There’s nothing to talk about.” Keith continues slashing the training bots ignoring the other man. “Keith, Please!” He delivers a particularly violent blow to the bot severing its body in half. “End training sequence.” He stands facing away from Lance breathing heavily. “There’s nothing to talk about, you broke up with me why are you chasing after me like a fucking dog.” 

Anger boils in Lance’s gut “How the hell could you call what we were doing dating? I felt used like I didn’t even matter to you. Every single time we fucked, I hoped that you would stay but you never did.” 

“You're turning this on me? You should have said something Lance, I’m not good at reading people this isn't my fault.” 

This isn’t how its supposed to go. 

“But you never talked to me-” “I did!” Keith whirls around tears in his eyes. “I did Lance but you didn't listen you never do. Not during meetings and sure as hell not during that last mission.” 

Lance's got swoops like it does every time someone brings up that mission. All those times Allura asked if he was paying attention only for him to smile sheepishly and have her repeat herself. There were small gaps in his memory he forgets if he ate the day before or even what he did. But he thought that was from sleep deprivation 

Lance wasn’t the one who was in the wrong here right? But he's in the wrong most of the time wasn’t he? “I did so much for you and you just threw it in my face.” Lance doesn’t remember a time where Keith has ever done anything for him, it was always the other way around. Maybe they just need to try again.

A moment passes.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

Keith smiles “I forgive you.” 

Later that night when Keith snores away next to him, Lance wonders if he missed something. 

~

Even with them back together, the team dynamic still falters. Lance second guesses himself every single second. Worried that he’s going to make a mistake again. But it's not enough apparently. Because Keith is breathing down his throat constantly.

“Can you for the Love of God do something right?” “I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened.”Lance pants his eyes never leaving the burning structure till Keith grabs his face. “I’ll tell you what the fuck happened. You killed all those people. Your inaction literally killed thousands of people.” “But I did everything I could, I shot all the sentries in the tower.” “Then why did the goddamn cannon go off?” Lance doesn’t know the answer but if he keeps quiet, Keith will keep yelling at him. “I don’t know.” Keith throws his hands up letting out a sound of disgust before leaving the room. 

He's shaking, he doesn't know why he's shaking. But all he wants to do is hide or lie down and not be for a minute. He doesn't want to worry about Keith yelling at him or looking over his shoulder every other second. He just wants to go home. 

He goes to Hunk who assures him that it wasn’t his fault but he can see a tenseness in his jaw that makes him doubt Hunk’s assurances. Shiro is the same not making eye contact with him and brushing him aside when Pidge runs up tears in her eyes. He watches from a distance as he comforts her explaining that what happened today wasn’t anyone’s fault, that no one could have know that the canon was still set to off no matter what they did.

So why was he getting blamed?

It's Coran who finds him. Curled up under a console. “Lance my boy. We’ve been looking for you.” He can't even find the energy to move. He's so tired of this. He doesn't even realize when Coran pulls his head into his lap. “I wanna go home Coran.” Coran strokes his head, small comforts. 

“Does he hit you?” Lance doesn't want to answer but this is Coran, he can trust him. Lance shakes his head “No, never.” “Are you scared that he will?” His eyes dart to Coran’s face then quickly back down. And that's really all the answer he needs. Lance falls asleep not long after that. Allura’s face peeks from above, worry clear in her face. 

“We need to do something.” Coran only nods. 

Lance becomes a ghost on the ship. “The only thing they see of him is when Keith drags him around asking him for this and that. Or when they train but even then they don’t stay long Keith’s toxicity driving them all away.  
On some fucked up level they’re glad that Lance is the one who takes the brunt of Keith’s anger but sometimes it's too much. They knew Keith was hot headed but not to this extent. Every attempt to confront Keith about his treatment of Lance and the negativity he’s exuding, he refuses to hear it. Lance doesn’t seek out any of them for comfort, internalizing his suffering. 

~  
The Princess catches up to Shiro in the halls as he’s heading to his room “Shiro! May I speak to you for a moment.” He turns the smile on his face falling when he sees her grim expression. “What’s wrong, what happened?” 

“It’s Keith-” he already knows what this is about. “I can’t have him on this ship, he’s hurt Lance far longer than he should have. I’m devastated we didn’t catch it sooner.” 

“Off the ship, Princess all due respect we need him to form Voltron.” 

“No Shiro we need him to be better. Have you talked to Lance, given him someone to lean on?” Shiro looks away.  
“He’s hurting so much Shiro. He just wants to go home but we have a duty.” 

The question is on the tip of his tongue ‘Why don't we just send him home then?’ but he doesn’t ask it. It's a selfish question. One that keeps his best friend close to him. “Let me just talk to Keith then we give them some time.” 

 

He finds Keith where he always does, in the practice room with Lance. It's not much of a practice Lance is on the defensive and he makes no move to go offense. Which in itself is unsettling.  
With a staff, Keith knocks Lance’s bayard out of his hands and brings the weapon swinging towards his face.  
Shiro’s stomach turns when Lance’s yelp and subsequent cowering is met by laughter.  
“How bout you two call it a day.” Lance scampers away and as he passes Shiro he’s shaking.  
“Keith we need to talk.” There's a change in Keith's demeanor as Shiro walks up to him. He’s no longer tense or angry and that makes him hesitate.  
“Yeah, what’s up?” The words he means to say die on his tongue “Are you ok? You and Lance seem to be fighting more than usual.” Keith looks surprised  
“We’re doing great, I mean there are sometimes where we argue but that's normal in a relationship right?” 

“Keith, I need you to be honest with me. We all see how you treat him and bud, its bordering on abuse.” The anger is back but he doesn't lash out at Shiro, he never has. 

“It's nothing, we're just having some communication issues but we’ll sort it out don't worry.” he just doesn't listen to me.” 

Shiro knows for a fact it's the opposite. But he doesn’t say anything. ‘Coward.’ he thinks.

~

Lance has been walking around with a limp recently and Keith scoffs when he can’t keep up. 

Lance doesn’t leave his room unless its for training or Keith pulling him out.

Lance isn’t anymore. 

They all realize it on the same day. In the training room is the only place everyone can see everyone. Its two on two Pidge vs Lance, Keith vs Hunk with Shiro spectating. They see when it all goes to shit. Keith missteps and trips over Lance who barely makes a noise as he falls. 

Its so ugly what happens “You fucking piece of shit, every single time you’re in my way. Why the hell are you still around if all you do is get in the way.” “I’m sorry.” Lance’s apologies are weak and he’s shaking again. (He’s always shaking now.) 

“Keith that’s enough, you misstepped, it wasn’t Lances fault.” Keith clenches his jaw at that and moves away not even helping Lance as he staggers to his feet. The atmosphere is subdued as they go back to sparring. 

Shiro calls for a break and immediately Lance is out of the room. He doesn't come back till we'll into the second half of training where he's supposed to be sparring Keith. Keith grow increasingly agitated the longer Lance is gone and at some point he too leaves the room. 

Lance walks in a bloody tissue under his nose. “Oh Geez , Lance what happened?” “Tripped.” is his answer but the truth lies in Keith’s clenched fist. 

The silence is deafening until Allura breaks it.

“Keith you need to leave.”  
“What, leave Voltron?” He laughs wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. “You can’t fucking do that you need me.” He moves to pick up his helmet but Lance snatches it up and moves away with it. 

Keith’s face turns murderous. “Give that back you little shit.” Allura steps between them looming above him. “Get off my ship, you don’t deserve to be part of Voltron.” 

“I belong here more than anyone. I’m a prodigy without me you’re nothing. Who do you think carries all of his dead weight.” he stabs a finger at Lance a sneer painting his features. 

“Keith.” Shiro steps up and the betrayal on Keith’s face stabs him in heart. “What you’re doing, what you’ve done is so cruel. We’ve tried talking and you just don’t listen, you haven't learned.” 

Nobody knows how to react when fat tears begin to track their way down his face. “Fine.” 

His departure is quieter than they thought it was going to be. The Blades come, promising to teach him to be a better Galra and maybe a better human. Keith goes with them without a word. 

~

It takes a lot to pull Lance out of the shell he made for himself. But they do, he relearns how to take charge and that mistakes don’t mean the end of the world. Occasionally there are setbacks. Someone getting too heated about something and raising their voice a little. He can’t help the panic but they help him. When Keith left to join the Blades they knew that they occasionally they had to see him when they met up to go over their plans. There's a subtle tension that hovers in the air between them. But Lance is better and that’s what matters for now. 

The Blades update Shiro and Allura on Keith’s progress. There’s still a long way to go but he’s getting there. 

~~  
Years down the road, When the battle is over and peace reigns over the galaxy. The Paladins of Voltron are five again. Pidge taller and filled with endless potential, Hunk scarred but stronger for all the lessons each scar taught, Shiro finally got the rest he needed, and Lance, the Black Paladin sits staring out into the cosmos. 

“Lance can I talk to you?” It's been years but the apprehension is still there. He knew this day was coming but he doesn’t know what’s going to happen.  
Keith looks nervous its telling when he blurts out “I’m so sorry for the way I treated you when we were younger. I don’t know how I didn’t see what I was doing. I was hurting you and I didn’t see anything wrong with it.” he takes in a shuddering breath. “I don't expect you to forgive me for what I did but I just need you to know I'm sorry.” 

Lance can't look him in the eye but being this close to him and his heart isn't jackhammering in his chest, he’ll count that as a win. “You we’re so selfish and you couldn’t see that you were killing me. It took so many years to dig myself out of that hole.” he sighs unconsciously shifting away from him. “I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you but I'm glad you've changed.” 

“Me too Lance, me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wriiteitdown is my tumblr, because adding links here don't work for me...


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